Been awhile since I last blogged anything =x bad me... haha...

3 months into this relationship already and I must say time really does fly.... Back then when I was still carrying that "Single" tag, every weekend just felt like any other weekends... Although most of my weekends were fully packed with gatherings, outings and stuff, they all felt the same... There were indeed moments of looking forward to meeting up with friends and catching up but its different compared to now... Ever since like 3 months ago, just feels that theres something to look forward to for the weekends. Somebody to look forward to seeing....

Through this 3 months, i attain some really different realisation that one would not have if one was single forever or at least until 21..... As my gf stays like in the east and I stay in the west, we typically can only meet at best friday, sat and sundays..... Would leave my weekends priority to meeting her apart from the occasional activation of duty and stuff but will try my best to meet her.... If she has exams I will pop by her place to spend time with her cos I am the sort who believes in quality time and who believes that I will give the best to my gf if I can afford it within my means....

I sleep really early on weekdays so that the next working day I would be there with a sane mind as i believe in professionalism and not reporting to work half dead.... So I dont get to talk to her too long... To add on that our little number of meetings per week.... Sometimes I think that maybe she deserves a better guy... a guy who is not bogged down by national commitments, a guy who stays nearer so that he can go home later and accompany her later..... Sometimes its the limitations of circumstances that make me feel that I don't really have the ability to provide what other guys will probably be able to provide... 

These were thoughts that sometimes flash by my brain and probably sometimes even linger around... and sometimes rubbish thoughts of giving up so that someone better would be able to provide without all those stupid limitations.... But I knew I couldnt just give up like that until I really have to as she will probably just shatter like a mirror falling onto the floor...

Today when we were at ws buying her friend's present, she walked beside me and suddenly said " why u have to live so far... why" I was stunned for a moment.... Then when we bade goodbye at the mrt station cos i was to go home already, the question flash by my head again and thoughts about not being able to give her the best came up again... like tsunami... Tears started to well up in my eyes as i gave her a kiss and i left....

On board the train and alone I sat as i journeyed home like how sun wukong did in journey to the west... I thought to myself again about our this so called "LDR" and gave it a really serious thought this time... No longer was it just a passing question but a question that I pondered as I sat alone....whether was it really time to give up so that somebody would be able to give her more although I probably be left alone to pick up the broken pieces.... Not trying to be noble or anything but i guess its my character...

Whilst I was pondering on all those, she sent me a msg... Suddenly felt the sweetness and stuff.... and then I realised... 

Theres this saying "爱还是被爱比较好" and i always say 被爱 last time without knowing why but simply imaging how blissful it would be to be in that... But today I realised the real feeling....its simply just bursts of sweetness to know that you are being loved eh... This can only be experienced if one puts some thought as to how the whole r/s is going or maybe after one experiences hardship and thinks about stuff... Her words really touched my heart...

Many people keep reminding me of how honeymoon period will end someday and how everything will start to change like how the sky turns from blue to grey.... We shall see eh... I will survive =)

Last time when i was single (been single for lik my whole life until recently), whenever I read about how couples break up and like either party feels all so lonely and stuff and then comments will be like "oh you shouldnt put your gf/bf as your centre of events in the first place". Back then, I agreed with that statement. Agreed how couples should have their own time to meet friends and stuff...

How naive I was...

Its been a month plus with my gf and have been spending my weekends with her and also my other friends... Thought that was what having own time meant. Thought that would probably make my life normal.. But nooo... it kinda failed a simple test. My gf going to japan. Shes in Japan now and although I have been living my life quite ok but the feeling is just simply different... There just isnt anything to look forward to for this weekend and it sucks to feel that way. Its totally horrible.... and this is only like for 1 week...

I think its really scary... and whats scarier is that all those sweet nothings between me and my gf... Im just afraid they all might come back to haunt me =( I dunno but im just afraid... but its ok =)  
 

I SHALL SURVIVE =) and OUTLAST WOOHOO!

Its been a long time since I last posted and indeed alot of things have happened in between... Lets go through it systematically...

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Camp
this new clerk that came in for less than a month got into NUS School of Medicine and is gonna disrupt for 6 years in July.... Really happy for him to be able to get into medicine man! woohooo

Things between me and godzilla is still the same as ever... COLD WAR... i think im gonna win cos i have that feeling in me... =P

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Personal Life
Recently I got attached ( close to a month le) and the moment i changed my relationship status on facebook, i kena spam like 30+ comments in like minutes.... LOL kudos to Jamie for noticing it first... I guess people are probably surprised that such a long visioned (i always like to think myself as that way instead of boring) person and well I guess i myself am surprised that I got myself into a relationship this year...

Oh wells... I envisage that this relationship is hopefully gonna last really long and even better till marriage cos my gf is on the same wavelength as me man! haha..

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Been a long time since I last posted =)

Haha caught IP Man 2 and FE Man 2 over the weekend of Labour day... Great company and great movies.... I would say that IP Man 2 was better than IP Man 1 and definitely inspiring. It gave the awesome feel of bashing fucked up people who looked down on others =P

Had dim sum buffet with LOG BR and it was definitely awesome once again.... Ate till very full and satisfied! Pity Rivercity closed down though... they really served value for money dimsum! kudos to that team who probably got fired in the process as well =(

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Just knew my colleague more in depth like last week and realised that he was those kind who likes to be 3rd party and potong jalan.... Though i know that we all dont have any rights to judge others but i would say that im quite disgusted at such acts though... Karma aside, I think it is definitely inethical and I never believe that true love caused all this but in actual fact its the lack of moral values incalcation. Or in hdlog words, " wrong mindset"

Sadly but surely, this world is indeed degenerating and spiralling downwards interms of moral values where by people dont really care.

=(       

I was being told by my friend of her recent breakup with her bf.... i remember 2 years ago how she told me how her ex actually pleaded for her to accept him and to give it a try.... initially, i also thought they will last long cos in my opinion, if i actually pleaded for something, im definitely gonna give my best shot and break up will definitely not be brought up by me... But 2 years after, it seems that my hypothesis was wrong... he brought up the issue on breaking up and im definitely quite surprised....

This made me think and reflect upon myself.... Will I also end up this way when 1 day i get into a r/s that I promise will stay long but then still initiate the exit? Makes me reflect on the fragility on promises..... am I able to deliver the promises that Ive made? really gotta be careful with promises because although breaking them is easy as such but it definitely has serious repercussions....

BUT , what surprised me more was the reluctance of my friend to forget him although he didnt really treat her very well.... Maybe next time i should try the bad guy approach then girls will probably be attracted.... and then she told me she wanted to go for his 21st bdae party... and her friend even encouraged... dohhhhhh.... if she wasnt my good friend, i would probably have just let her continue her way sia.... like seriously, even doing nothing is better than going to his 21st....

Sometimes, irony of life is indeed so ironic.... oh well.... I gave my opinon as a good friend and got nothing to do with me anymore..... probably washing my hands is a good way but i can never do that... not for a good friend....

Was taking the shuttle bus from chevrons to JE mrt.... Saw that the JEC has already been torn down... The very place that I spent with my friends during secondary school like after school lunch cohesion sessions... The times we spent there....

Now that it has been torn down and I was thinking about our friendship.... Not gonna mention names but it seems that many a times, not only me who is feeling this way but others too, I think that our friendship doesnt seem to be strong at all... Drifting... just drifting away... Further and further....Things like not replying of messages..... Lying..... et cetra... Sometimes I just wonder what happened to the bond that we had formed? Isit all but transient? Does it all count for nothing?

Maybe its like JEC... JEC is probably symbolising our friendship... Getting torn down and apart... Forming a new foreign building.... Maybe change is indeed the only constant thing....

Everytime messages not replied by him/them.... Just makes me dulan.... It seems as though we are really spare tires... really tired... Im really tired...

Finally 1 month in new unit but still doing nothing much because no card to use the comp with... But the people there are really really nice la except for a few... lol... Enjoying my NS life now... Awaiting duties to come in next month... hope it doesnt eat too much of my Sats or not no time to meet frens (esp really impt ones)...

Helped out at NP Open House and also the Tuesday following.... Really really fun helping out at the convention centre... Talked to alot alot of ex-lecturers from year 1 to year 3 who taught me... Had a fun time chatting... Felt this sense of gratification when I manage to convey how I really felt to the undecided and worried parents who are not sure if their kids fit into poly and which course is actually better...

Could understand how they were all feeling considering that I was in that scenario... Esp this pair of parents who came on Tuesday after results were released on Monday... Their kid got L1R5 = 10... they prefer their kid to go jc but their kid wanted poly.... They came to understand the different courses in BA.... Somehow I felt this similarity between my case and theirs... I instantly knew how it felt... Really...

I told them about my example and then explained to them the different courses in BA but suggested them to apply Accountancy... I answered to their queries and I really hope that would really assist them in choosing the right course for their son.... Gave them my namecard cos they asked for it =x

My office people tell me why I so stupid burn my leave to help my school... But i have always liked to contribute back to my school, be it NP or CTSS.... And also I like to help out parents who are really confused because parents do play a big influential role in their kid's education... I like to pass on information that I know to them so that they do not make wrong choices and regret thereafter... I want them to have more knowledge on Accountancy courses and future prospects and to help as many parents as possible... Thats my motivation for going down to help and also for spending hours at NP talking to parents...

Back from Tekong after 2 weeks there... Apparently the weather there is hotter than it is on mainland...

Life there was quite good... Maybe its because it is still the adjustment week.... My section mates are nice and friendly people... Like to talk cock with them and also play chinese chess.... Think my skills leveled up also... hehe...

Food in tekong is pretty fail in my opinion.... Especially congee only put peanut and button mushroom... lol... Destroying my taste buds man....

5 more weeks and we will be through !!